i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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