I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
