she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
