so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
