I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dick very happy bro
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
