Buhtt sex?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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