If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
