if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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