I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
