garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
