We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i think my cat just said my name.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
