did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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