Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
