I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
