So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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