So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
