Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
