I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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