how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
