dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
