R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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