my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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