I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
