"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
