I'm so fucking centered right now
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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