I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
