I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
