Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
