butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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