i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
