Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
