just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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