What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
