singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
