respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
