You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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