it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
