Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
