i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
