She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
