Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I cut my penus on the lid.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
