I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
