i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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