normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize