Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
