Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
