you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
