hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
