So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
