I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
