i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
