Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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