Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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